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<\/a><\/p>\nEver been asleep and not present when you were needed most? \u2026Have you ever turned your back on someone in need of you? Have you ever been or felt alone carrying a tragic mess? Who among us has not felt agony, loss or despair? Who has not had angst hang in his or her\u00a0heart and mind? Who at some given point has not wanted to face what is to come next?<\/p>\n
This is a story of a Divine being fully in the presence of his humanness and wanting out\u2026 Seemingly the greatest petitioner of all time asking\u2026\u201dIf it be thy will, remove this cup from me\u201d\u2026and the answer was NO\u2026and his friends fell asleep through it all- it was too much for them- not once or twice, but three times\u2026Has something been too much for you to hang in and on?<\/p>\n This week on my visit I remembered many of the monks who have since died, particularly as I spent time in the garden\u2013 one who I thought about a lot this brief visit was Br. Ren\u00e9 who tended the paths and statues. He was well known for his devotion for Mary and the rosary was his constant companion. He set up a small \u201cRosary Museum\u201d in the monastery which he enjoyed showing to retreatants and visitors. \u00a0Br. Ren\u00e9 is famous for his handmade rosaries, crafted from various materials, such as Job\u2019s tears and especially rose petals, which he ground and made into beads by hand. I still have one he made for me.<\/p>\n Br. Ren\u00e9 was a most interesting fellow who was\u00a0instrumental in developing the bourbon fudge the monks now sell\u2026\u00a0A number of years ago major wind shears ripped through his forest that he tended religiously \u00a0and dropped timber and foliage all around the base of the statue of Christ In Agony and leveled the forest around it\u2026 The fallen timbers built a criss – cross box stacked 20 feet high, log on log, like paper around the statue \u2013 amazingly no damage was done to it at all\u2026 I wrote Rene a note about the loss and he followed up with a short note that simply said \u2013 \u201cit will grow back \u2013 it always does\u201d and it did\u2026I sat in the garden in his forest for my quiet time this morning and the fall leaves were turning and falling graciously and radiantly. His words and his simple but steadfast reply stuck with me and his promise rang true that morning\u2026\u201cit will grow back \u2013 it always does\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n He liked to quote Dom James Fox, who was abbot at the time he entered: \u201cThere are only two people in the monastery \u2013 me and Jesus.\u201d For Br. Ren\u00e9, every brother, every retreatant and every visitor wore the face of Christ. He made you feel special in his presence –<\/p>\n The Garden of Gethsemani is a place named in honor of Jonathan Myrick Daniels , who was an Episcopal seminarian, killed for his work in the American civil rights movement. His death helped galvanize support for the civil rights movement within the Episcopal church where he is regarded as a martyr. He saw the face of God in Ruby Sales and he took a bullet which was intended for her and instead it\u00a0took him\u2026<\/p>\n I for one have been on my knees, head in my hands like the statue, begging or imploring God for help with\u00a0this or that and the strength to carry me through\u2026In defense of the disciples who had fallen asleep, our humanness is tired easily from agony ,especially by the pain of those we love most. Yet, our spirit is resilient and shows us the only way through the pain is through it and the same\u00a0spirit helps us to carry on\u2026 I for one have also been willing as a result of the depths of my\u00a0personal pain\u00a0, struggles and losses experienced,\u00a0 to be\u00a0one to fight to \u2018stay awake\u2019 and be present and kind when and where I can\u2026sometimes it\u2019s too much for me and sometimes not\u2026<\/p>\n About a month before Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., was murdered, he recounted one of the many threatening phone calls he received. He said the phone rang and a person said, \u201cIf you come here we\u2019re going to kill you.\u201d And he said, in telling the story, that he had heard those life-threatening calls many times before, \u201cbut that night, for whatever reason, it shook me to my roots. I couldn\u2019t go back to sleep. I brewed some coffee. I drank the whole pot.\u201d He said: \u201cI began to cry at the kitchen table, and I lost all my courage.\u201d He said: \u201cI put my head in my hands and I thought, I can\u2019t do this anymore. I don\u2019t want to die<\/em>.\u201d And he said: \u201cAt that moment I felt this strength in me that I had never felt before. I knew what to do, what I needed to do.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n